I have my friend's kid at my house today. Zach is eight. My daughter is unmistakeably 4. You can tell their ages when they argue. Zach has a point to his argument that is somehow undeniably true. He gets angry when Sarah pushes him out of the chair, when she interrupts him, which we all know is a common characteristic of young people, and I don't just mean kids. Some people go their entire lives doing it. Others learn the importance of listening before speaking, and to take it even further, thinking before speaking.
I would much rather be a person who is a good listener, than a good speaker. But it just so happens that I am both. I'm not trying to have an inflated sense of self, but during my short life here, I have learned a few life lessons.
One lesson I've learned is to always think before you speak. Just because a thought pops into my brain, doesn't mean that same thought has ever even crossed the path of the brain of the other. That doesn't mean that because I know the rule, I follow it.
In fact, I find it very hard to suppress my feelings and thoughts on a lot of issues that arise. But then I have to think about it rationally, because I think most people know, and I am not a woman basher at all, so do not get this wrong, because many women think with their heart instead of their minds.
We are made of components that all men have, only they do not access them very frequently, which often drives them to think that we are crazy.
In fact, I have been called crazy on many occasions by people of the opposite sex- both friends, lovers, bosses even, mostly behind my back. So that lesson has been nothing shy of doozey to put it lightly.
Is that ok? No. It's not ok for a man to call me crazy because I have feelings that I am comfortable expressing. It's not ok either for me to rely on a man's sum of who I am as my sole means of self-worth.
Why is it that so many women do just that? We place so much hope and base our own security on what a man has to offer us. I am not alone in doing this. In fact, I think it would be safe to say that well over 75% of women find their strength in men, when it should be God that we look first and foremost.
Men will always let us down, just as a woman will always let a man down. So placing all of our hopes and desires for our lives in a man is absurd. But, it's what we do. We do it without thinking. Instead, we feel it.
Men are not built to be greater than us. They are not designed to be the pyramids of humanity. They can do their own jobs, hunt and gather, love when it's convenient, most of them, unless they are married, and try to understand a woman, but never fully grasp us.
I am not a man basher. I love men. Some of the greatest people I have known over the years have been men- some I've learned immensely from, some I have loved and been loved by.
But the point is, they are not built to be givers like females are.
We, instead, are built to be nurturers. Therefore, we are the givers and should not assume that because we give so much, we can take so much. Yet, we are always looking for validation. Women look to men to tell them how beautiful they are, how intelligent they are, how special they are, what good mothers they are. We look to the wrong people for gratification.
We need to be looking to the one who created us for answers to our deepest and most obvious insecurities. God knew what He was doing, what His heart had for us, and designed us in His own image.
He gave us all gifts. Some of us find them and realize them at an early age, others ignore them completely.
Women were all bestowed the gift of confidence, just a men were; so who are we to look to a man for a gift that we were given by God?
Women bear children. Women raise those same children alone, some of us. We feed them, we school them, and we show them love. Why do we feel that we need to run to a man for comforts that the Holy Spirit offers at all times?
More on this later...
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